“I do indeed, Sir,” said Caspian. “I was hoping that I came of a more honourable lineage.”
“You come of the lord Adam and the Lady Eve,” said Aslan. “And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.”
(From Prince Caspian of The Chronicles of Narnia)
How is it possible to hold such great pride and great shame in the same heart, from the same source? 
Is it really possible to be blindingly brilliant and immensely stupid at the same time?
Can your greatest strength be your greatest weakness?
In a world that seems to want to color everything gray, it can seem a little outlandish to suggest such stark contrasts and claim they exist in one person. Regardless, I think it so. I also think that our ability to grasp, embrace, and cherish these contradictions is a key to massive growth and wealth in every area of life.
I’m a people-pleaser at heart. I spent the majority of my own wedding making sure everyone else was having a good time. The very thought that I’ve made someone mad or disappointed them somehow is enough to put me in a funk or tizzy to try and correct whatever “I’ve done wrong.”
It can make things especially hard when it has to do with my business, which also happens to come from the very core of who I am. My heart and soul, one of the key ways I serve and honor God, is a very personal thing for me. So when I get an email like I did over the weekend, I’m reminded why this concept of contradictions is so important.
(begin email)
“P.J. -
I didn’t want to post this on your video site or facebook because I’m not the kind of person who smears someone. But, clearly, as you said in too many words in your epilogue, you did not come through with the goods. I’m insulted because I already know that money isn’t everything, and that building relationships doesn’t require money. Anyone who is the least bit spiritual knows enough to be grateful for what they have and that money goals are separate.
But, all of the time spent listening to these videos, hoping that some little inkling of an answer would shine through, was a complete waste, and I feel duped. I would rather that you were honest in the first place, and just said, ‘Look – if you want money answers, buy the book.’ I still want to believe in you – If I do buy the book, I am going to be very dissatisfied if I find out that the message is’ Money isn’t Everything’. I already know that – but I’d like to have some at least – and I am very disillusioned at your little marketing message in disguise. You are now coming off like the rest of them. Sorry to say.
I’ll be very surprised if you answer this –“
(End email)
There are multiple reactions to an email like this, but I want to highlight two aspects for the sake of making a point. The first is that this person is obviously, horribly disappointed with a free video series I offered. Of everything I tried to convey in the five videos (which ended with me offering my book, Flip the SWITCH), all of them missed this person entirely.
Whether my style, choice of message, their expectation, or any other dozens of reasons… we didn’t connect and the impact on this person is a million miles away from what I created the series to do. If I only allowed this perspective to hold my thoughts, my reaction would be to either shut down and consider myself a failure or go nuts trying to find out how to please them even though hundreds of others have already praised the material.
The second and seemingly contradictory aspect is that my job in this world is to relate what I’ve been given in a way that moves people into actions they would never take otherwise. To make that happen, my positions must hit someone precisely where they are and with enough strength to jar them.
Here’s the rub… If I write, speak, or whatever, in a manner that attempts to be appealing and attractive to everyone, I reach no one. If I do all of those things from my guts and run the risk of not connecting with (or flat out angering) someone, it is most likely to hit the right person perfectly and move them forward.
In the same mission, my objectives are to attract and repel. Believe it or not, it’s the same with you whether you own a business or not.
When we operate out of the fullness of our gifts and put everything we have into everything we do, there isn’t time to worry about who does and doesn’t like something. You do what you know best at the time, see what happens, and make adjustments to improve. Time spent wringing your hands over potential harshness or being misunderstood is time wasted.
If you are speaking love and life over people from the heart of who you are, accept the fact that you will not agree or resonate with everyone. It’s okay if someone hears your best and says, “I don’t get you.” If there’s a productive lesson, take it and move on. Be content with what it is.
The leadership mind must be able to hold the inherent contradictions of this world and still see clearly.
In business relationships and personal relationships, we won’t be right for everyone… I’ve proven that, but our best will match someone’s need. Ask yourself, “what people seem to resonate with my message?”
If you’re happy with the energy of those people, stay the course. If not, consider if your message is pure or if you are trying to “adjust it” on the way out. When your heart is right, your message is right, and your tribe is right.
I did answer the email, by the way, and said that I was sorry they were disappointed (I am) and that what they received was a far cry from what I intended (it is). If their feelings are as deep and sharp as the words indicate, there is no way they should consider my book or anything else. Their energy is better spent finding someone they resonate with.
There’s nothing but love and a prayer from my camp that they find what they are looking for. I pray the same for you and hope you are finding it here and will always ask if there is something you want but haven’t found so far. That’s what we’re here to do.
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